Home for Thanksgiving and I could not be happier. Sleeping in my own bed, waking up to a full pot of freshly ground highlander grog coffee, snuggling with the cutest golden doodle in the whole wide world (my baby Jax), + most of all spending time with family.
It seems like just yesterday I was in 8th grade, wearing a uniform and following all the rules. Obviously I am not the same person as I was in 8th grade, but sometimes I wish I was. As I have gotten older, I have realized I miss the innocent 8th grade me, where my biggest worry was not getting a 4.0 GPA. Everything changed in high school. It became hard, there was peer pressure, I was awkward. Since I can remember, I have been journaling whenever I was sad, happy, angry, etc. I found these journals as I was going to bed last night and found things about myself that I completely forgot. I can't help but laugh a little when I read about my biggest worries as an 8th grader: mostly including the stresses I faced if a boy liked me or if I would get an A on a test. More importantly I wrote about a lot personal things, and was left with tears streaming down my face. I used to write reflections on nightly devotionals, and coming across them had a yearning to know Christ like I used to. What has gotten in the way of how my relationship used to be? Why was my relationship with God the strongest when I was 14 years old? I pondered these questions and decided for the next year (365 days) I will journal a devotional every night to revitalize this relationship and find my 8th grade self (?). I also found I used to write three things I was thankful for every single night. I cannot remember the last time I sat down, and said all of the things I was thankful for. Nonetheless, I cannot remember the last time I sat down and thanked God for all of the things He has given me. Most of the time I was thankful for "my amazing family I love them so so so much!!!!!", "my cats, they are awesome!", "my mom and dad I love them so much they are the best parents in the whole world!!!". No joke. My words exactly. This lead to me discovering I have become selfish as I've gotten older. I need to be thankful every single day, as things are just changing faster and before I know it I'm going to be graduating college and wondering where my childhood went. I have decided for the next year (365 days) I am going to write down three things I am thankful for every night before bed. Leading to my next point, "I love my mom so much, to the moon and back times infinity forever and ever". Reading my journal, I think I stumbled upon me expressing my love for my mom about 20+ times, which goes to show how amazing she is. It was fun to read all of things I wrote about that I didn't remember: "My mom just bought me earrings today, it was SO thoughtful! I love her so much." "I miss my family and I love my family so so much. My mom is an angel." "My mom is so caring and willing to do anything." "I had dinner with my little sister and mom tonight. It was wonderful. I love them both so much." "My mom is the most humble person I know." "My mom puts us before herself everyday" Although I have so clearly expressed and noticed it in the past, being a teenager is always hard on a mother-daughter relationship. Since I've left for college, I will openly admit I have cried a few times in college thinking about my mom because she is that amazing. I appreciate her more than I ever have before, and hope some day to be half the mom and person she has been to me. As I've said since I was just 6 years old: love you to the moon and back times infinity, mom. xoxo Jo
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